Christian?

I have struggled, for years, with going to church and being a christian... to me, none of it made sense! I got good at "playing the part", while on the inside I grew colder and colder to all of it. I eventually reached my breaking point, where pretending was not cutting it. However, in breaking is where I really began to push aside what I had always been told and decided to figure it out for myself. I began to realize why a lot of it made no sense to me... because it really doesn't make sense! If the church is the "BODY" of Christ, made up of "CHRISTIANS"- who are supposed to be striving to be like the Christ they claim to follow, then why isn't that how it actually is?! We are awesome at holding to the traditions of our specific denominations and keeping with the routine of attending weekly services, keeping our children and our little families "unstained from the world", and doing coffee or barbecues with friends of similar morals. Where was this Christ's mission?! The Christ I have come to know and read about was a friend of sinners, a healer of the sick (mentally, physically and emotionally), a provider of food to the hungry, a father to the fatherless, a comforter to the broken. Of course the church and Christianity of today made no sense to me... because we have created our own safe, comfortable, catering version of it. I found no point in it all because... there was no point. We are called to be more of a hospital than a social club. Why aren't the "Christians" the one stepping up when a family falls apart... when a woman has abandoned her kids because she has hit rock bottom... when we see someone sleeping on a bench... when the state is overwhelmed doing a job WE were called to do!? I have been reading more books and sermons by Francis Chan and David Platt. It has been both eye opening and frustrating. We have totally settled for a religion customized to fit our schedule, preferences and comfort levels. 
          Luke 9:23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple 
             must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.
In following Him we are to daily deny ourselves. In following Him we are going about His business. How much of an impact would churches have if that all actually decided to adhere to the teachings of the God they all claim to serve?! I we SERVE Him why do not obey his commands in BEING "the body"? Living our lives for him and not self? Instead of a trip to the mall- go volunteer to just hold one of the thousands of little ones that currently live in the shelters in Arizona, instead of making that extra room into a guest/toy/office room- open it to an orphan, instead of that new pair of jeans or shoes for you- offer to buy a kid in a group home a pair, instead of redoing another room in your house- lend a hand and a voice of hope to the OVERWHELMING number of moms and dads out there that don't have a home, instead of out casting that person who is struggling in her walk- walk along side her. Its time we step up and be the church and the Christians and have been called to be. We keep ourselves to unstained by the world that we have absolutely no impact on them!  There is only one of me, and in deciding to make my "Christian life" resemble that of the Christ I claim to follow... its been a lonely road... but I still chose it daily- KNOWING that I am making a difference in the lives of those around me. Knowing that I am being and doing. And praying that my life, my voice,  the change and hope in me and choices I now make can impact others to chose to do the same! 

An amazing message in this song! Self worth was something I always used to struggle with. This week has been a rough one for me from no AC (still), a husband with shingles, 2 teething infants, a stomach bug passing through the house and a little foster son that had me in tears.... talking about how he KNOWS his mom leaving him was his fault- she doesn't love him- the police are after him because of all he has seen- and that he will just always be lied to and left, because that's how its always been! I pray that through becoming a part of our family and experiencing Gods love, through us... that he regains some of the self worth and innocence he has been robbed of! I tell him how awesome he is, that he is safe, that we are here for him NO MATTER what, but I pray for that day when he can believe that for himself!!

Inconvenient Obedience

The past two and a half weeks the biggest challenge for my kids has been obedience. We always have an "adjustment period" when new kiddos move in and within a few days of that transpiring we also started our school year off. Lots of change makes for lots of challenges. I have prayed and thought of various ways to help make this bump in the road a little more manageable. I have been consistent with consequences (as exhausting as it can be!) and we have also established before and after school routines... to get homework done and to cut down on chaos. It's been much smoother lately, thank you God. Well, there is point to all this. Why is it my kids disobey? Wouldn't it be easier to just listen and avoid a consequence? Don't they see that putting each other first simply makes sense?! Hmmm. Well, isn't that how we all operate with God? I am pretty sure if we all sat and read scripture it's pretty obvious what He expects from us, yes out of our own selfish desires, we go about our days consumed with what works for us. It has really struck me while reading, "Orphan Care" by Johnny Carr (highly recommend this book, by the way) how my children's selfish motives and disobedience are pretty much that of the church... just on a larger scale- which just means more people are affected by it! I would like to share some pieces I pulled from Mr. Carr's book, ones that make you say "ouch!"

"The overwhelming message here is simple: As Jesus' disciples, we are called to live sacrificially so we can live generously."

"We need Orphaned-focused Sundays, but we also need far more-- we need Orphaned-focused churches.Choosing to stand by and do nothing while we see injustice, suffering and evil is wrong. It is sin. We must take active steps to care for orphans. To do anything less is blatant disobedience."

"And He beckons us to leave the comfort of our cushioned pews to reach out in love to those children who are enslaved."

"All around the world, children cry out at night for parents who are gone. They have names, faces, and dreams, but no families."

"More than just write a check, Gods word challenges us to invite the poor an the needy into our everyday lives."

"Poverty is not a social justice issue for government to figure out. It is an invitation to each one of us to reach out in humble gratitude for how God has rescued us, not forgetting our own poverty and desperate need for Him. If we truly want to break the cycle of poverty and homelessness, we must start with our own hearts."

"A few weeks after returning home from China, Beth and I learned that one of the infant in the orphanage- the one in my nightmares- had dies of starvation because of her cleft lip and open palate. The cost of the surgery to save the child's life: $250. Trying to balance 10 million dollars {for a church building project}, $250, and the value of 1 human life kept me up many nights!"

"Adoption is not for everyone, but caring for orphans is for everyone!"

"We frequently focus on keeping ourselves unstained, but we often fail in the area of taking care of orphans and widows."

"We can not settle for cheap solutions because we as Christ's followers have a responsibility before God to act and, more importantly, to keep acting!"

Just as my children have a tendency to only think of themselves when making a decision... we too have become too comfortable with doing the same. However, for us and the church as a whole, its not just the simple issue of not sharing a toy or pushing someone else aside to be first. For us its a life style and a way of thinking that effect how we react, effects those suffering around us and, in a bigger picture, is the example we are setting for our children. I pray that my children can SEE, KNOW AND FEEL Gods love through me- not just by being able to climb into their own warm beds having clean sheets, or a warm dinner on the table... but by how I choose to react to the hurting, suffering, desperate world around me. We can tell them they should help, but unless they see that example being set (as a life style not a one time basis) by us- they will be as effective as we are! Its time for the church, as a whole, to be obedient to the call that God has placed upon each and every one of us. We can all do something. Its when we "choosing to do nothing" that we need to look at our hearts.
 "The one who shuts his ears to the poor will himself also call out and not be answered." Proverbs 21:13
"If you offer yourself to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted one, then your light will shine in the darkness, and your night will be like noonday." Isaiah 58:10

How are you, your family, and your church BEING the body of Christ, outside of your own comfort zone!? 

Challenge yourselves to step out in some   inconvenient obedience!!

Back 2 School

Today was the first day of school for us! I was both looking forward to it (because of routine of it all) and dreading it (because I miss my kiddos). This year I have Aivahlis in 4th grade, Talia and Anthony in 1st and Sky, for one more year, in a therapeutic PreSchool program. My 3 older kiddos started today with a whole mix of emotions! Aivahlis, after meeting teacher on monday night and learning that their class pet was a bearded dragon (and that she was granted dibs on naming it this year), was excited and ready to get this year started! This was a huge blessing for me being that she is normally the one with big anxieties when it come to any sort of change. Talia is my "go getter" and pretty much wakes up knowing she can take on the world! This year she even had the big responsibility of introducing Anthony to "her school" and helping him feel at ease. Talia was blessed this year with he return of Aivahlis's teacher from last year (Mrs. Keyes was not supposed to be there this year but ended up returning as the new 1st grade teacher). This teacher was wonderful, kind hearted and we adored her and we were very excited to learn that Talia AND Anthony would have her this year! Talia was excited to go but unsure of what first grade would be like. Then there is Anthony... he has been saying for days that he does NOT want to go. He has had everyone in his life prove to him that places and people are not constant and that people are unreliable. He has seen way more than I have have or will and his insecurities are present daily! He is a sweetheart that has not deserved what he has been through. I cry often, praying that God heals him of his hurts and fears, knowing personally how hard it is to not deal, but carry it through life, trying to just be ok. I pray that we can make a difference in his and his sisters lives, showing them the love of God (unconditional and constant). I have assured him that I am not here to take the place of his mother (the woman that he still loves and misses!) I am simply here to love on him, keep him safe and to let him know how awesome I think he is! He was not ready for yet another change and was scared of school work, knowing he is behind, he e insisted that he does not like school! Well, this picture pretty much expressed everyone's TRUE feelings on today...

Well, long story short... after lots of prayers, hugs and kisses and a day of learning... these 3 all had a wonderful day! Anthony even decided that he just may like school after all! God is already at work in this little mans life. I am blessed to have such amazing kiddos that are so willing to step up for these foster/adoptive children, to open their home, to share their mommy and daddy, and to be Christs hands extended! They are already making a difference in this world!!!

My Own Little World

This song is pretty awesome... the lyrics of it. About looking beyond our own little world,

seeing the bigger picture, looking beyond ourselves, living for the greater purpose-

 having our hearts break for what breaks HIS!!!

Move on in... And stay forever!

Clean out craft closet, move toy box to living room, clean out ALL bedroom closets, purchase bedding, transfer beds from each room into new location, down size toy bins in each room, add expedit shelving and more dinnerware to my IKEA list, pick up and fill out school registration papers, school shopping for a fourth Dahlman student, etc, etc, etc.

Oh... Just a few of the million and one things on my "to do" list that must be accomplish by Saturday. Breathing deep! We got a call asking us if we would take on 2 sweethearts that will be going into adoption soon. A good friend of ours (Monika) that we have very recently come to know and adore is their current foster placement- however, she is an amazing single Mom and is lisenced for "foster only". In spending time with Monika we have been blessed to get to know 2 siblings (ages 6 and 1) and they have become very special to us, our whole family adores them. The 6 year old has seen and been through so much already and needs a good, stable home to grow up in- knowing he is loved, safe, and that no matter what, he is an incredible young man. His little sister can melt you with her big baby blues alone!
So- come Saturday we will be a family of nine and heading, once again, down the road of adoption. It is a process that changes not only the child/children's lives, becoming part of a forever family--- but even more so the adoptive family that has opened their hearts and their home to these little ones in need. It is an incredible journey of faith, grace, hope, mercy, selflessness and blessings! I have been asked several times in the last few days, "have you lost your mind?!" Why yes, yes I have lost mine. I no longer think for myself and about the "me" factor of it all. I pray daily for God to use me and to see how things are falling into place at such a fast pace leaves me in awe of God and how, when you let Him lead, He works it a out for the good. The less I focus on me, the more fulfilled life becomes.
Here is to a crazy me pursuing Gods will in my life, my family's life, not just telling my kids we serve a Big amd awesome God that can change lives- but showing them, and to making a difference in this world and in the life of "orphans"!

Tunnel Vision

 My kids and I have been going to the summer movies at Harkins this summer and it concerns me, each week, how a our foster babies will handle sitting through it. One fell asleep on me while the other enjoyed a snack in the stroller, then when the sleeper woke up we did a quick switcheroo and the other one fell asleep on me while the previous sleeper enjoyed a bottle. With one foot rocking the stroller, one foot rocking the sleeper, one arm holding  a baby and the other arm being hugged by my sweet boy (3 yrs). I was in full mommy mode. I loved the movie playing this week, "Charlotte's Web" is a classic! Well, movie ended and we all headed back out to our vehicle. It's Arizona and it's July! Its that time of year where we are enduring the triple digits, the humidity while awaiting a good monsoon, the sweat beads that begin to form and roll down your face... just buckling kids into the car (or more like bus, for me). I had 4 of my 6 in and had 2 more in the stroller to go. I was getting hot and impatient, just as the woman walking up to the vehicle next to me hit the remote on her key chain and her van doors slid open. "Seriously!?" I heard myself saying out loud. Now I was stuck, couldn't move my door without hitting hers, and still had 2 infants sitting, in the stroller, in the heat, on the other side of my door. Man did she inconvenience me. Didn't she know I was sweating and trying to load up 6 kids?!

 {insert heart check}

Driving home I passed by a man with a long white beard, scraggly white hair, and filthy from head to toe, carrying a duffle bag. As I passed by, with my air conditioning blowing on me, my water bottle at my side, my iPhone gently rested in the cup holder beside it, along with a console crevice filled with spare change and  my well dressed and freshly bathed children in their car seats, all with full bellies and the security of a mommy and a daddy's love... I began to pray, "Lord, please be  with that man! Send some one to.....   I stopped. I began again, "Lord, please be with that man! Send some one to.....      I was that "someone"! And that someone was taking all her blessings for granted as she drove by the very person that she had been sent to bless. I drove up the road a little ways to a park where my kids play, knowing there is a vending machine there. I grabbed up $2 in quarters and got 2 cold gatorades. I turned around and headed back down the road but I was not seeing this man so I drove up the next road, then back down again. I decided to head back towards home and ... there he was, red faced, sweating and still walking down the road. I did a u-turn and pulled over. As I put my window down he seemed very hesitant to approach. I held up the gatorades and asked him to please take them, its hot out! He smiled a toothless grin and thanked me. As I drove away my 6 year old commented, "wow mommy, that was really sweet of you... he's already drinking the blue one!"
I began to sob. All I could say was,"but now what?! now where does he sleep?! We all go to our nice big home, we eat our filling lunch, and he is still out here, alone and homeless." I cried the rest of the way home, and even now as I type. I am the one that was sent to help this man and all I could do was buy him gatorade!?!? How can we as "christians" (striving to be like Christ) miss the very calling that accompanies that title!?!? We have tunnel vision. We walk through life striving to build our only little worlds into picture perfect perfection, that we cant see the world around us. We are so accustomed to living a blessed life that its what we have come to expect.
"I doesn't fit into my schedule"
"My home isn't big enough"
"That wouldn't work for my family"
"We just don't have the means to do that"
"They got themselves there"
Wow. We are good at justifying why we cant carry out the very message we claim to believe in. I am guilty of it. But the more I pray to be used by God, the more he makes me uncomfortable in the THINGS that we all take for granted and make priority over serving and the more He breaks my heart for what breaks his! I pray that I continue to see the world around me, that my priorities are HIS priorities, and that I do NOT live life with tunnel vision (only  focused on what I chose to see)... because even though the homeless, hungry, orphaned and hurting are not sitting on our comfy, suburban doorstep... we are still called to step out of our comfort zones and DO!