Back 2 School

Today was the first day of school for us! I was both looking forward to it (because of routine of it all) and dreading it (because I miss my kiddos). This year I have Aivahlis in 4th grade, Talia and Anthony in 1st and Sky, for one more year, in a therapeutic PreSchool program. My 3 older kiddos started today with a whole mix of emotions! Aivahlis, after meeting teacher on monday night and learning that their class pet was a bearded dragon (and that she was granted dibs on naming it this year), was excited and ready to get this year started! This was a huge blessing for me being that she is normally the one with big anxieties when it come to any sort of change. Talia is my "go getter" and pretty much wakes up knowing she can take on the world! This year she even had the big responsibility of introducing Anthony to "her school" and helping him feel at ease. Talia was blessed this year with he return of Aivahlis's teacher from last year (Mrs. Keyes was not supposed to be there this year but ended up returning as the new 1st grade teacher). This teacher was wonderful, kind hearted and we adored her and we were very excited to learn that Talia AND Anthony would have her this year! Talia was excited to go but unsure of what first grade would be like. Then there is Anthony... he has been saying for days that he does NOT want to go. He has had everyone in his life prove to him that places and people are not constant and that people are unreliable. He has seen way more than I have have or will and his insecurities are present daily! He is a sweetheart that has not deserved what he has been through. I cry often, praying that God heals him of his hurts and fears, knowing personally how hard it is to not deal, but carry it through life, trying to just be ok. I pray that we can make a difference in his and his sisters lives, showing them the love of God (unconditional and constant). I have assured him that I am not here to take the place of his mother (the woman that he still loves and misses!) I am simply here to love on him, keep him safe and to let him know how awesome I think he is! He was not ready for yet another change and was scared of school work, knowing he is behind, he e insisted that he does not like school! Well, this picture pretty much expressed everyone's TRUE feelings on today...

Well, long story short... after lots of prayers, hugs and kisses and a day of learning... these 3 all had a wonderful day! Anthony even decided that he just may like school after all! God is already at work in this little mans life. I am blessed to have such amazing kiddos that are so willing to step up for these foster/adoptive children, to open their home, to share their mommy and daddy, and to be Christs hands extended! They are already making a difference in this world!!!

My Own Little World

This song is pretty awesome... the lyrics of it. About looking beyond our own little world,

seeing the bigger picture, looking beyond ourselves, living for the greater purpose-

 having our hearts break for what breaks HIS!!!

Move on in... And stay forever!

Clean out craft closet, move toy box to living room, clean out ALL bedroom closets, purchase bedding, transfer beds from each room into new location, down size toy bins in each room, add expedit shelving and more dinnerware to my IKEA list, pick up and fill out school registration papers, school shopping for a fourth Dahlman student, etc, etc, etc.

Oh... Just a few of the million and one things on my "to do" list that must be accomplish by Saturday. Breathing deep! We got a call asking us if we would take on 2 sweethearts that will be going into adoption soon. A good friend of ours (Monika) that we have very recently come to know and adore is their current foster placement- however, she is an amazing single Mom and is lisenced for "foster only". In spending time with Monika we have been blessed to get to know 2 siblings (ages 6 and 1) and they have become very special to us, our whole family adores them. The 6 year old has seen and been through so much already and needs a good, stable home to grow up in- knowing he is loved, safe, and that no matter what, he is an incredible young man. His little sister can melt you with her big baby blues alone!
So- come Saturday we will be a family of nine and heading, once again, down the road of adoption. It is a process that changes not only the child/children's lives, becoming part of a forever family--- but even more so the adoptive family that has opened their hearts and their home to these little ones in need. It is an incredible journey of faith, grace, hope, mercy, selflessness and blessings! I have been asked several times in the last few days, "have you lost your mind?!" Why yes, yes I have lost mine. I no longer think for myself and about the "me" factor of it all. I pray daily for God to use me and to see how things are falling into place at such a fast pace leaves me in awe of God and how, when you let Him lead, He works it a out for the good. The less I focus on me, the more fulfilled life becomes.
Here is to a crazy me pursuing Gods will in my life, my family's life, not just telling my kids we serve a Big amd awesome God that can change lives- but showing them, and to making a difference in this world and in the life of "orphans"!

Tunnel Vision

 My kids and I have been going to the summer movies at Harkins this summer and it concerns me, each week, how a our foster babies will handle sitting through it. One fell asleep on me while the other enjoyed a snack in the stroller, then when the sleeper woke up we did a quick switcheroo and the other one fell asleep on me while the previous sleeper enjoyed a bottle. With one foot rocking the stroller, one foot rocking the sleeper, one arm holding  a baby and the other arm being hugged by my sweet boy (3 yrs). I was in full mommy mode. I loved the movie playing this week, "Charlotte's Web" is a classic! Well, movie ended and we all headed back out to our vehicle. It's Arizona and it's July! Its that time of year where we are enduring the triple digits, the humidity while awaiting a good monsoon, the sweat beads that begin to form and roll down your face... just buckling kids into the car (or more like bus, for me). I had 4 of my 6 in and had 2 more in the stroller to go. I was getting hot and impatient, just as the woman walking up to the vehicle next to me hit the remote on her key chain and her van doors slid open. "Seriously!?" I heard myself saying out loud. Now I was stuck, couldn't move my door without hitting hers, and still had 2 infants sitting, in the stroller, in the heat, on the other side of my door. Man did she inconvenience me. Didn't she know I was sweating and trying to load up 6 kids?!

 {insert heart check}

Driving home I passed by a man with a long white beard, scraggly white hair, and filthy from head to toe, carrying a duffle bag. As I passed by, with my air conditioning blowing on me, my water bottle at my side, my iPhone gently rested in the cup holder beside it, along with a console crevice filled with spare change and  my well dressed and freshly bathed children in their car seats, all with full bellies and the security of a mommy and a daddy's love... I began to pray, "Lord, please be  with that man! Send some one to.....   I stopped. I began again, "Lord, please be with that man! Send some one to.....      I was that "someone"! And that someone was taking all her blessings for granted as she drove by the very person that she had been sent to bless. I drove up the road a little ways to a park where my kids play, knowing there is a vending machine there. I grabbed up $2 in quarters and got 2 cold gatorades. I turned around and headed back down the road but I was not seeing this man so I drove up the next road, then back down again. I decided to head back towards home and ... there he was, red faced, sweating and still walking down the road. I did a u-turn and pulled over. As I put my window down he seemed very hesitant to approach. I held up the gatorades and asked him to please take them, its hot out! He smiled a toothless grin and thanked me. As I drove away my 6 year old commented, "wow mommy, that was really sweet of you... he's already drinking the blue one!"
I began to sob. All I could say was,"but now what?! now where does he sleep?! We all go to our nice big home, we eat our filling lunch, and he is still out here, alone and homeless." I cried the rest of the way home, and even now as I type. I am the one that was sent to help this man and all I could do was buy him gatorade!?!? How can we as "christians" (striving to be like Christ) miss the very calling that accompanies that title!?!? We have tunnel vision. We walk through life striving to build our only little worlds into picture perfect perfection, that we cant see the world around us. We are so accustomed to living a blessed life that its what we have come to expect.
"I doesn't fit into my schedule"
"My home isn't big enough"
"That wouldn't work for my family"
"We just don't have the means to do that"
"They got themselves there"
Wow. We are good at justifying why we cant carry out the very message we claim to believe in. I am guilty of it. But the more I pray to be used by God, the more he makes me uncomfortable in the THINGS that we all take for granted and make priority over serving and the more He breaks my heart for what breaks his! I pray that I continue to see the world around me, that my priorities are HIS priorities, and that I do NOT live life with tunnel vision (only  focused on what I chose to see)... because even though the homeless, hungry, orphaned and hurting are not sitting on our comfy, suburban doorstep... we are still called to step out of our comfort zones and DO!

Eyes opened, Now act.

Well, we (as in just my family of 6) took a long weekend and enjoyed some family time, beaches in California, and the simple joys of road trippin'! It was a wonderful time of fun and memories! We definitely favored Pacific Beach and Sea Port Village- although all the rocks, gorgeous cliffs, and getting to see all the seals on the beach at La Jolla was pretty awesome. My girls had been doing extra chores around the house in the months leading up to our trip and were very proud to purchase themselves some souvenirs! We had a chance to see crabs on the beach and even catch a hermit crap. The kids enjoyed eating lobster, as well as the big bibs that we all had to wear while doing so (which the boys then wore down the boardwalk, backwards, as super hero capes!) We look forward to another trip, however, this time with our faster babies in tow because we all missed them terribly! As awesome as our vacation was, Chris and I spent a lot of time focusing on our goals as a couple and how to make them happen. We are focused on taking in little ones and making a difference in their lives, our goals are centered around that. Life is never more rewarding than when you loose yourself in service to others!

 

 And... "real life" kicked in faster than anticipated! We got a couple calls from our agency while away... the system was being overwhelmed with children needing homes. We were asked to take on an 11 month old boy about 10 minutes before even pulling into our driveway! I did my best to get all our little ones unloaded, bathed and fed, car unpacked, and laundry started before they brought him to us. People think I am crazy when I take on more little ones, truth is... I think its even crazier that most can go about their comfortable, everyday life, without even a thought to the fact that there are 14,000 kids in the AZ system alone! Thinking that the little ones being removed from their homes- hungry, no clothes, scared, abused, filthy, neglected- are someone else's problem. Going day to day consumed with themselves, their clothing, their next home project, and nothing beyond the 4 walls of their own home. Don't get me wrong... caring for your family is a wonderful thing! But why does it stop there?! We are called, chosen, and sent to be the hands, feet, and heart of Christ. It is not always an easy transition to take on little ones but the heart it has given my children for the little ones we take in, the difference we are making, the example we are setting and the love we are sharing makes it beyond worth it! This little guy that came to us last night one of 4 siblings of a homeless, substance abusing, pregnant mother. He was scared, hungry and exhausted--- came into the system naked and dirty--- and into our home with a mere 5 diapers (which the state worker had grabbed for him) and nothing else. He is one of THOUSANDS in care right now needing just ONE person to step up... opening their arms, heart, and home. What are YOU going to do to help!?!?
                                 

Fathers Day

Our super hero, and his sidekicks!

Yes, I know, this is coming a day late... but still from the heart. Yesterday we celebrated the "Daddy" in our house. He not only is an amazing father to his own children but also goes above and beyond as a father to little ones without a father. I have always had a desire to foster but Chris's heart to do the same amazes me. He loves, supports, wrestles, laughs with and cares for these children as though they are his own. It is rare to find a man like that! Too many fathers are completely absent or just never around... it takes an incredible guy to step up and fill that gap! This year we chose a "Super Hero" theme... being that Chris is nothing shy of just that! He goes above and beyond the call of duty, saves the day, and is our very own Super Hero Daddy! So, a very HUGE and well deserved "happy fathers day" to Chris! We love you!!!

"My daddy is my Super Hero because...."

AivahLis: "Because he works so hard for us!"

Skyler: "Because he is an awesome daddy!"

Christopher: "Because he is my best friend!"

Talia: "Because he makes me laugh!"

Another Year Older

Today I turn 31. It's funny because last year I dreaded turning 30!! It just sounded SO old. However, it ended up being the HARDEST year of my life and worth every second of it. I have grown mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically! Every tear, pain, hurtle and trial brought me closer to God, my husband, and my family... in a genuine way. I struggled with self worth, people pleasing, and knowing God beyond the rules and regulations I thought I was to uphold. Now, I walk through stores and restaurants with my 7 littles knowing I am stared at like a freak and... smiling, knowing that my hearts desire is being lived out through foster care and adoption and I accredit that to no one else but God and his work in my life.  I look forward to spending my 31st year with the amazing friends and family, by my side, that have been my rocks, support and prayer warriors. I thank God for everyone in my life, the precious foster babies, an awesome church family, and the blessings and opportunities that still lie ahead. Dealing, healing and growing was worth every painful second and I thank God he brought me to that point in my life, despite the mistakes and pain it took to get me there! I pray that if you are struggling... you don't wait another day to deal. There is never a "right time" or even a "good time".... because, either way, its going to SUCK! But, I would much rather live life with a genuine smile on my face then live it like I was, smiling on the outside and falling apart FAST on the inside. Don't get me wrong, I struggle! I have days where I feel like I am falling apart again. However, knowing where I was (at the bottom and ready to call it quits on life) in comparison to where I am today-I KNOW I have what it takes. Its a daily battle worth fighting and the struggles just makes me that much stronger in the end. So, here is to another wonderful year filled with hurtles, hardships, babies, blessings, trials, tests, love, life, smiles, friends and family! Bring on 31!